“Someday, somewhere - anywhere, unfailingly, you’ll find yourself, and that, and only that, can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life.” ― Pablo NerudaOh the romantic soul of my favorite poet, these words are so true for me…especially at this time in my life. I find myself, mid twenties, wide eyed and open minded too all the world has to offer. A heart wounded and guarded, but waiting for the perfect soul-mate to calm my fears and quandaries about love, and life. My old soul weary of where my path has taken me so far, yet strong and full of grace because I have been so blessed and can only hope to leave a mark in this life time. My mind, constantly spinning like a favorite record, over and over again, worrying, wishing, waiting for something. What is it I am waiting for, exactly? To have it all figured out, to feel at home in my own skin, to fall in line like so many others by holding the picture perfect image of what a 26 year old California native should be? It’s as if I think my parents are going to come and hold my hand like they did when I was a little girl and give me all the answers, or if I just meet the right person, they’ll tell me what to do… I cry out to God,
”where is my illuminating neon sign pointing me in the right direction?”
I think we as Americans are constantly battling in our own minds, the need to define ourselves and to be able to list the accomplishments in our lives as if those are what makes us whole. As if finding our identity means life can officially begin. Instead of relishing in the joy of human emotions, overcoming obstacles, of being overwhelmed by the breathtaking beauty that surrounds our universe…we give up when it becomes too difficult, we turn our backs when the pain is unbearable, we lash out when the world kicks us down. We must remind ourselves of the innocence and the hope of our youth, the fact that it is the trials which make us stronger, it is the breaking point which builds us up, the journey of growing and changing that makes us able to face each day, fearless and bold faced. You are not alone, but this is your life, start living it to the fullest, no holding back.
It is the mercy and grace of an everlasting, Almighty God who loves us unconditionally and fiercely. We are encouraged by the goodness in humanity when we see a small act of kindness or are reminded of the vast, extraordinary wonders of this world through nature, or blown away by the mind’s capacity to create things and to revolutionize each generation.
While I may write in clichés and idioms, my words come from a place of wonder and personal perspective and from a desire to record the thoughts that come from my heart, soul, spirit and mind. I may have beliefs or ideologies or advice that may be unfamiliar, even non-relatable, however, if you give me a chance to vocalize my opinions, I will be eternally grateful. And I do consider myself open-minded to dialogue about anything pertaining to life, love, lessons learned, family, career, fashion, friendships, relationships, faith, and beyond.
Tonight’s blog really has no point, it is just the ramblings of my incessant thoughts and this quote just says to me that no matter where you may be in life, just be. Don’t be bogged down by where you think you should be, where you’ve been or where you need to be going. I once heard the saying ’Bloom where you are planted’ …it is such a hard lesson to endure but if you embrace your circumstances and grow from each season in your life, it will be so much more rewarding because it really is about the journey, not the end goal that you will find ‘yourself’ and as you grow older you begin to realize how much life changes and you, with it. So love with no bounds, give without expectation, take risks in faith, not fear, travel the ends of the earth, renew your spirit and remember your worth, remind yourself that life is beautiful.
